


From Gold to Green

by L122YTorch (orphan_account)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Falling In Love, First Kiss, Jealousy, Lust, M/M, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:56:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/L122YTorch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim lets his guard down for only a moment and it changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It happened so quickly that Spock could have easily missed it. It was a split second, a fraction of a moment that occurred in mere seconds but reverberated in his memory for days. 

He stood in the bleach-white corridor, having walked Nyota to her door after a long day on the bridge. They stood in front of one another, her door to his right, and her left. She was standing close to him that her perfume lingered in the air he breathed, the necklace he gave her glinted beneath the artificial light.

Their relationship had resumed over the past few months and in this moment, when there was hardly anyone in the halls, she smiled and rested her hand on his chest as they talked. When the conversation had drawn to a close, he put his hands on her hips and leaned in to kiss her. 

He focused on the sensation of her lips on his, on the sweet taste of her mouth and the warmth of her body against his. 

But when he pulled away, his head only slightly to the side of hers, he felt the heat of someone’s gaze on him.  
His hooded eyes snapped wide open when they met with Jim’s blue gaze. The captain was standing about four yards away with a look on his face that Spock scrambled to analyze.

Kirk’s eyes were cold. So cold, that a shiver threatened to slither down Spock’s spine. But there was more to his gaze. The frigid lake of blue seemed to give way to whirlwind of sadness, disapproval, conflict and...anger? No, maybe not anger. Jealousy? No...  
“Are you alright?” Nyota asked, reminding Spock that his hands were still tethered to her. Though he longed to figure out Kirk’s reaction and continue studying his face and posture, he was forced to look at Nyota. “Yes, I am fine. Goodnight,” he fake smiled, dropping his hands to his side. She returned the grin (except that hers was genuine), brushed her hand against his face and disappeared into her room. 

Spock hoped to see Jim once more but his captain had vanished. 

Briskly he walked to Jim’s room and rang the bell. There was a long pause. Spock felt nervous, and in experiencing such a rare emotion, his heart rate only increased.  
“What.” he heard Jim’s voice say flatly.

Spock’s lips parted. “I was hoping to talk with you captain.”

Another long pause...

“Not tonight Spock, I’m tired. Goodnight.” the intercom switched off. Spock stood in front of JIm’s door in shock, his mind reeling. What exactly had he witnessed earlier?

Disappointed, he lowered his head and walked to his quarters where he would spend the remainder of the night lying awake in bed.

Did Jim not approve of his relationship to Nyota? Had he done something to make Jim mad? Was Jim upset that he didn’t tell him that their relationship resumed? Did Jim lust after Nyota? Or.......did Jim lust after him? No. It couldn’t be possible. Could it?   
No matter how late the hour grew, every time Spock closed his eyes, all he could see was Jim...standing in the hallway, crestfallen. For the first time, Jim looked lost, hurt, upset...and surrounded by an air of loss and longing.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Jim saw Spock was on the Bridge in the morning. He knew that Spock had seen a side of him that he tried desperately to repress, but he would play it cool. “Good morning Spock,” he said in his usual chipper way as he took a sip of coffee. 

“Good morning captain,” Spock replied cooly as he walked over to his station. 

The shift proceeded as usual, although there were times when Spock’s back was turned to Jim, but he could swear that he could feel the heat of his captain’s gaze. 

He made light conversation with Jim and the crew, but felt particularly awkward when Nyota approached him with a tablet full of linguistic information on the Karnons. Suddenly Spock was overly aware of his proximity with Nyota, of the tone of his voice and the words that he spoke, and especially of where Jim was and what he was doing. And he hated it. He hated being so hyperaware of everything, and he disliked not knowing exactly what had stopped Jim in his tracks last night in the hallway. 

From the moment Nyota approached Spock on the bridge, to the end of shift, felt like eternity. Finally, after hours of waiting to talk to Jim, it was time to leave for dinner. Spock walked over to talk to Jim, but his captain had sprung out of the chair and was about to flee to the dining hall. 

Although typically against unnecessary physical contact, Spock felt his hand reach out of it’s own accord and grasp Jim’s bicep, abruptly stopping the golden man in his tracks. Jim’s pupils flung wide in surprise as he swung ‘round to look at his captor. Just feeling the heat of Spock’s hand through his shirt sent a fresh rosy flush to his cheeks and he quickly scanned the bridge to make sure it was empty. Luckily, 70% of the crew was already in the turbolift and the rest were walking towards it.

Upon seeing Jim’s face flush, Spock immediately released his hand. He gulped but his throat was dry. “Captain, I would like to speak with you privately, if you have a moment.”

Jim took a deep breath and released it in a sigh. He was fully prepared to shoot Spock down but the Vulcan interjected with, “I noticed that there is nothing else on your schedule for today.”

Shit.

“I know…but I’m tired Spock, can’t it wait?”

“No, it cannot wait,” Spock said in a manner that was insistent. 

The turbo lift swooshed open as the relief staff came onto the bridge and acknowledged the captain. Jim nodded to his second shift crew members and then looked back at Spock. His features had morphed from embarrassment to annoyance. “Fine,” he said curtly, “let’s go.” 

…

The walk down the sterile, white, snake-like halls seemed to take far too long but they finally reached Jim’s quarters. The doors whisked open and Jim entered first.

Although slightly terrified about the impending conversation, he attempted to keep his cards close to his vest. “What is it Spock?” he asked, sitting down on his bed, using his arms to prop up his upper body. 

“I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“What about it?”

“After I kissed Nyota, I noticed that you were in the hallway,” he stopped, unsure of how to continue. 

“And…?”

“And you had a peculiar look on your face Captain. I know that I’m not always particular savvy when reading human emotions…”

“…and you want me to decode for you?” Jim laughed mockingly. “C’mon Spock, really?”

“No. I wanted to talk to you to make sure you know that if you have anything you want to say to me that you can come to me,” Spock said rather quickly. 

Jim bit his lip nervously as Spock drew closer. His mind scrambled for some sort of response.

“It’s funny you should say that Spock, considering that you’re the one who failed to tell me that you and Uhura were dating again.”

Spock’s head tilted slightly downward and he blinked several times. “I realize that I should have told you Captain…”

“…oh my God, stop calling me captain,” Jim’s eyes slid shut in frustration.

“Jim…” Spock said tenderly, catching Kirk off guard. “I want to know that our relationship is alright.” 

The human gulped and looked up at Spock with his impossibly blue eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again in silence. His fingers dug into his bed cover for just a moment before he pushed himself up and onto his feet. 

“Our relationship is fine,” he said, standing in front of Spock, trying not to blink or flinch. 

The truth was that he had stepped over the perilous line of daydreaming and somehow managed to develop feelings for his first officer. But he could never tell Spock. He could never jeopardize his friendship, or even worse, Spock’s happiness with Nyota. 

Spock’s voice lowered an octave and his eyes grew dark. “Although Vulcan’s do not lie, that does not mean that we cannot sense when someone is being less than honest with us.”

“What do you want me to say Spock?”

“The truth!”

“The truth is that you are my first officer and my best friend.”

Spock’s eyebrows drew closer together. “And what do you think of my relationship to Nyota?”

“I think you’re a grown man who can make his own decisions without his captain’s input,” he blurted out, annoyed. “This whole conversation is ridiculous,” Jim said, a flush of red creeping up his neck and into his ears. He moved to walk past Spock, but the Vulcan again grabbed his arm. 

Infuriated, Jim yelled “LET GO,” and sharply pushed Spock away. The science officer was unprepared for such a reaction and stumbled backwards until he fell onto Jim’s bed. His hair was out of place and a look of shock flitted across his face.

He stared at Jim, whose face went from fury to…something else.

Kirk couldn’t help the blush that now engulfed his entire face, ears and neck. His heart beat quickly within his chest and he felt blood going south as he took in the sight of a shocked Spock, his hair disheveled, sprawled out awkwardly on his bed. 

Lust and arousal immediately mixed with his fury. In total embarrassment he moved to leave, but Spock darted a hand out and caught his wrist. 

“Tell me Jim,” Spock pleaded.

Jim’s eyes stung with unshed tears of frustration and loss. A knot formed in his throat and he pleaded with Spock’s warm gaze to let him go, but he didn’t.

Finally he croaked, “you’re a touch telepath, I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

“I don’t use my touch telepathy unless I have permission,” Spock replied.

Silence passed between them.

“You have permission,” Jim finally said in a whisper. 

Spock nodded and silently unlocked a door in his mind that he always kept closed. His fingers rubbed against the soft skin of Jim’s wrist and emotions started pouring through the floodgate.

The strongest emotion was love, closely followed by frustration, lust and confusion. And lurking in the background, looming like a monster of impending doom, was fear. Fear of loss. Fear of rejection. Fear of the unknown. And beside it was shame. Jim felt ashamed that he had allowed his feelings for Spock to grow, to distract him, to eat him alive. The fear and shame and confusion and frustration was all amplified by loneliness. 

Jim was jealous. He envied Nyota. He longed to taste Spock’s lips and hear him hum in satisfaction. He wanted Spock on top of him, undressing him, kissing him from his temple to his hips and taking him in his mouth. 

A torrent of Jim’s less than PG daydreams overtook Spock. He saw everything that Jim wanted. Jim had studied the curve of his lips, the slope of his neck, the way his hair blew in the breeze, the way his blue shirt stretched over the muscles of his back. He could feel the joy that Jim felt whenever the two interacted. And he could feel the pain as Jim stood frozen in the hallway, watching everything he wanted slip away when Spock kissed Uhura.

Spock let go of Jim with a gasp and the captain was out of the room before the Vulcan could even return to reality.


End file.
